You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress...

Hello All!

I hope you are well.

About five weeks ago, I changed my detox strategy and it is working! My eyes were brighter, my muscles and joints hurt less, less rashes, improved cognition, and more energy. Heavy metals are detoxing! I am grateful for progress!! Unfortunately, within progress, there were some additional challenges discovered in my home. I am currently at a family members home while my home is being remediated for the third time. Sigh…while at my family member’s, there are not zero allergens (mostly due to her neighbors apartments), but I made a discovery while being away from home again. I discovered another contributor in my home environment without an easy and cheap solution. Knowledge is power, but come on, enough already!!! LOL! I am grateful for the full nights of sleep free of nerve pain and itching while I am here, but the bright eyes are fading.

Due to a staff member at a clinic wearing too much perfume, I nearly had anaphylaxis a couple days ago (this would have broken my record of one-year anaphylaxis free) and could not complete some testing. This flared dysautonomia symptoms as well, so back to very minimal activity, monitoring blood pressure and heart rate while my body calms down. I will try again next week with precautions in place (I spoke to clinic). I just hope I will not have to start betablockers again as I gained 25# last time I had to take them.

Fortunately, following up on a referral, I found a clinic in Texas that specializes in mast cell (histamine issues) and breast implant illness. I will visit them in March for two weeks for treatment (do not worry, I made myself available every evening and weekends for my clients while I am there so I can still work). I am hopeful what I learn during my time there will continue forward progress. Everything I learn about my body helps me to help others. I choose to embrace the challenges as more learning, but the guilt of how this condition impacts others is still hard to let go.

Guilt is a challenge. We hired an environmental expert, who has been so helpful. The consultation was not that costly, but the recommendations are. He found a gas leak-fixed, our sub pump stopped working and was growing algae and/or mold-replaced, and we installed a radon system. The list is so long on the improvements we still need to make, then we found mold in the laundry room, which is outside my bedroom. It was a slow leak present for some time due to poor professional installation (at least this is my understanding). Tests are pending on what type of mold. I already have mold issues in my body, I do not need more. So much money going out the door right after losing my fulltime job. My husband has been supportive, but this is so hard on him too. The guilt resurfaces, I am having trouble letting it go. I deserve to heal and live in an environment that is healthy for my body, but there is no easy way or cheap way to get there. My husband deserves his wife back fully. I am sure many of you can relate. I must guard against letting the guilt consume me, definitely testing “for better or worse, and in sickness and health.” He has been dealing with the sickness part since about seven months after we met, but it was truly love at first sight, so I keep fighting and he keeps supporting. We have to intentionally make time for us that does not involve problem-solving. We are so in love and we both hold on to what we thought it would be like when we finally lived in the same house. There are glimpses of that projection, but we are both grieving a bit as reality gets in the way.